Art Story: Dulu dan Sekarang

Selamat malam, gais! Aku kembali lagi di bulan Januari sebab bulan ni belum habis lagi. So, kena update blog walaupun dah tak serancak dulu. But still, aku rasa macam unbelievable sebab aku buat MaGi pada tahun 2011. Sekarang dah 2018. Bila aku baca balik entri-entri lama, rasa nak menyorok bawah katil. Rasa macam nak menangis kat tepi bucu meja. Nampak sangat zaman jahiliah aku, kah kah~

And today, aku decide nak reminisce kenangan lama especially hasil kerja seni aku. Walaupun aku bukannya bukak kedai artwork, tapi aku memang suka habiskan masa dengan melukis. Sebab melukis ni ialah self-therapy, self-confident dan self-motivation aku sejak dari dulu lagi. Seingat aku, aku mula tunjuk minat melukis masa Darjah 1. Aku masih ingat lagi, aku ajar kawan aku lukis reben. Btw, reben yang aku lukis pun bukannya cantik sangat. Then, minat aku berkembang. Aku mula lukis orang lidi masa Darjah 3 sampailah Darjah 6. Macam satu latihan pulak masa tu sebab kelemahan aku ialah aku tak boleh lukis kaki and tangan. And ada sorang kawan aku tu (Ahmad Saiful Ben), dia pernah cakap dia tak pandai lukis kepala and rambut.

Masa aku kat sekolah menengah, aku terpengaruh dengan anime macam Cardcaptor Sakura, Dragon Ball, Arale, Conan etc. Aku try melukis gaya anime. Tapi ada jugak aku cuba lukis muka manusia, tapi tak macam manusia sangatlah. Pengaruh tu berlanjutan sampai ke universiti tapi masa tu aku tak banyak melukis sebab idea aku tengah mereput masa tu. Huhu~

And pada tahun 2011, aku mula melukis. Memang teruk sebab aku rasa macam mula dari bawah yang amat bawah. Idea tak banyak, kreativiti tumpul, inspirasi pun kurang. Lepas tu aku mula tengok kawan aku (Hafiza Mohamad) buat doodle. Aku boleh kenal artwork dia, so maksudnya dia dah ada identiti dia sendiri. Tapi masalahnya artwork aku masih tak ada progress. Memang tak ada progress langsung masa tahun 2012-2013. Tahun 2014, idea tiba-tiba datang balik and aku improve aku punya skill sikit2. And now, aku rasa aku dah jumpa identiti aku sendiri dalam artwork. For those yang follow aku kat Instagram @hscield, korang boleh nampak the other side and the deepest sight of me. Odd, Creepy and Dark. 

Okay, aku nak share sikit hasil artwork aku dari dulu sampai sekarang. Tak banyak lukisan dari zaman sekolah sebab kena buang masa pindah rumah. Nasib baik ada member yang masih simpan lukisan buruk aku tu (thanks Azlina Rahman~). Btw, kalau rasa macam nak gelak kat lukisan lama aku...dipersilakan ^^

Apa Yang Membuatkan Anda Menyampah?

Sejak kebelakangan ni aku slalu menyampah ngan banyak benda. Ntah, annoying gila bila aku ingat balik apa yang membuatkan aku rasa menyampah. Aku rasa kedudukan otak aku tak brapa elok skang. Tapi manusia dengan perasaan menyampah memang tak bleh dipisahkan. Ada banyak benda yang boleh membuatkan korang rasa menyampah.

Seperti?

1. Kereta depan slow siput jalan 20-30 macam la jalan tu bapak dia punya. Dah tu bleh main tab main phone gelak sakan. Oi, tengok depan la! Tak sayang nyawa ke?
2. Orang kat depan jalan asek asek berhenti, pastu banyak cakap halang jalan orang lain. Saudara, kalu nak bercakap sambil jalan gi kat taman bunga la. Jangan stop kat pedestrian yang tengah sesak!
3. Kat kedai makan, orang kat sebelah cakap macam Dolby Surround rosak. Memanjang je bising. Tak boleh kecik sikit ke volume? Suara sedap takpe la jugak.
4. Sekumpulan keluarga bawak anak kecik ke tempat public. Dah tu anak asek nangis. Buat apa bawak budak kecik gi tempat public? Tak bleh ke duduk rumah jaga anak? Tak tau ke dunia skang banyak penyakit? Saja je nak cari penyakit.
5. Kepada sesiapa yang bayar barang kat cashier, kalu barang harga belas ringgit je tak payah la keluar not 100. Takkan takde duit kecik langsung? Akibat not besar tu la barisan depan cashier makin panjang.
6. Kalu nak berak kat tandas stesen minyak, tolonglah....TOLONG jangan parking kat tempat pam angin! Disebabkan orang yang sarat nak berak tapi parking kat tempat pam angin ni la buat ramai customer nak pam tayar naik angin!
7. Jangan mesej member kalu nak jual produk, bukan nak tanya khabar. Itu je yang aku nak cakap. Aku tengah annoying gila sebab sakit gusi, tetiba dapat mesej member pasal jual produk. Makin sakit gusi aku!
8. Berhemahlah, semasa di dalam tandas. Tak payah la aku explain banyak. Tengok mangkuk tandas pun dah tau maksud aku.
9. Astro, bil makin naik. Apa pasal?
10. Listen, listen, listen. Interviewer dalam proses temuduga annoying gila. Tak bleh ke manis sikit muka? Apasal muka sinis je padahal gaji masuk tiap bulan? Orang yang kena interview la patutnya stres.
11. Orang yang bekerja, sila jangan merungut banyak tentang pekerjaan anda. Dah dapat kerja pun nak bising.
12. Kepada pihak yang berkenaan, jangan asek bagi kerja kat anak buah sendiri tapi tayang iklan kerja depan public. Nepotisme betul~
13. Kepada pihak yang berkenaan II, peluang kerja kasi banyak sikit.
14. Budak-budak yang syok naik motosikal, korang jangan rosakkan pam angin boleh tak? Itu je pesanan aku.
15. Hey, signal! Kedekut betul nak bagi signal masa nak belok nak motong kat tengah jalan. Kena bayar ke bagi signal?
16. Actually aku tak menyampah sangat kalu orang tanya pasal kawen. Aku tak peduli pun. Tapi untuk orang lain, soalan ni memang menyampah.
17. Jangan tanya soalan baby kepada orang yang dah kawen tapi belom ada anak. Sungguh menyampah soalan itu untuk dijawab oleh pihak berkenaan.
18. Duit, makin lama makin susut nilai ko. Hmm...
19. Bangsa berjaya ialah bangsa membaca. Tapi apasal harga buku mahal sangat? Kalu buku tu dah 3-4 tahun berdebu atas rak, tak bleh ke kasi jual murah? Rugi banyak ke kalu jual murah buku yang tak laku? Bagi aku, lagi rugi kalu buku tak laku tu tak dibeli langsung.
20. Nape la kat tempat aku takde IKEA? Why?
21. Further study memerlukan banyak duit. Aku naik menyampah bila fikir pasal tu. Cit.
22. Duit ni harta duniawi tapi skang zaman duit. Stres.
23. Jiran sebelah, banyak-banyak terima kasih jika anda menjaga laman rumah anda dan tidak membiarkan pampers anak anda yang bertahi itu menempel di tepi jalan. Mohon sakit hati.
24. Jiran sebelah II, banyak-banyak terima kasih jika anda menjaga anak anda supaya tidak merosakkan harta benda jiran lain.
25. Jangan guna laman sosial untuk bash negeri orang! Perbuatan suka bash negeri orang secara terbuka tu menunjukkan anda seorang yang...(sila bina ayat mencemuh yang sesuai dengan selera anda)
26. Institusi pendidikan sepatutnya tukar nama, jadi institusi penjagaan. Ye lah, anak-anak cuma dijaga oleh cikgu. Tak bleh kena marah tak bleh kena tegur.
27. Aku menyampah sebab kadang-kadang aku tak tahu nak buat entri apa! Blog ni la tempat aku cari makan. Benci 3x
28. Menyampah sungguh bila terlalu banyak keinginan. Semua tu setan...setan...nyah kau!
29. Tolong jangan berkira sangat kepada sesiapa saja yang berkenaan. Aku tak tahan betul dengan orang yang kuat berkira.
30. Point yang ke-30, aku menyampah sungguh sebab bulan ni bulan yang annoying dan akhirnya aku buat entri ni.

#One space for annoying things in my head. The effect of environment pressure, which contribute psychological diseases for modern society. It seems unhealthy to keep in. It's time to keep out.

@themagi2014

Tips: How to Sugarcoat Profanity Words?

credits: news.naij.com

Swearing, cussing, insults and curses are common thing nowadays. I did that too, I often say 'shit' when I did something wrong. So what? Shit is shit, nothing's wrong with that. Everyone has their shit unless you don't have an asshole to spit your shit, right? For me, this kind of language is preferable for the same ages. I won't say it in front of the kids because they will learn that somehow, someday in the future. So I let the future do that, not me.

Watching clean movies or TV shows without curses or swearing is almost impossible right now. Even the slightest one, 'idiot' or 'stupid' will be heard although those words were not very illegitimate to be consider as a bad word. Well, stupid is an attitude actually whereas the Brits put that as an insult; eejit by the way. In different kind of region, a continent, swearing can be different according to its length, the word spell, the meanings or the familiarity. However, there are few simple words or short words can affect greatly into the world of profanity. 

Yeah, vulgar speak is somehow legit under your conscious. Don't you think? How about we change it a bit...for several circumstances?

"Gentleman is better than fuckers"
credits: allkpop.com

1. What a motherfucker!

This is the common word, especially Americans (no offense) but it wouldn't be appropriate to say it in front of the kids (as I say, I let the future do that-not me). There are so many words seems lovely with 'mother' so maybe you can sugarcoated the fucking thing into this:

What a mother father gentleman!

What a mother nature!

What a mother earth!

What a mother Theresa!

What a motherhood!

What a mother and son/daughter!

Actually there's a lot of things about mother you can relate to.

"I did this, in all sequels."
credits: verasgifstorage.tumblr.com

2. Bloody hell

This cussing word by the Brits is widely known in Harry Potter's film. My other babes loved this word so much, she thought that it sounds delicious. Think about delicious, how about we say?

Bloody beef

Bloody sausage

Bloody steak

Bloody chicken grill

Bloody mutton

Oh, I can list out the whole bloody meat and meat part as much as I want because it sounds tantalising than hell!

3. Son of a bitch

Who says that beach is for bitches?
credits: stereogum.com

I heard this bitchy cusses a lot in all kinds of movies and shows. It seems impossible for me to list out the prima facie but one thing I always understand, this insult is good to ditch the bitch, ain't it true? What if I change the word according to its rhyme?

Son of a witch

Son of a beach...Boy (?)

Son of a pitch

Son of a stitch

Son of a bleach

Son of a rich

Son of a teach..er (?)

Now, it sounds like a poem.

4. You bastard!

This one is the simplest one to cover if you suddenly inside a circle that won't allowed you to say this. Just remember the word that close to 'bastard' such as:

You mustard!

You custard!

You best aid!

You best art!

You best add!

You best at! (?)

Nice words sometimes work perfectly like cusses, if you say it right.

5. Holy shit!

Holy Grail: "Hey, you forgot
to mention my name!"
Credits: indianajones.com

Shit becomes holy when it turns into vulgarities and the easiest word to insult. But still, shit is shit. It stinks, you can't even look at it and for some reason I tend to make it smells nicely with covers such as

Holy ship

Holy shield

Holy shift

Holy sheet!

Holy sheep!

Holy shrimp (scampi)!

Who says that shit can't look good?

6. Damn it!

Damn is a usual expression word to suppress frustration over something and people used it to emphasize the feeling. Like 'shit', damn is one of the easiest word to insult and it ain't stink like a shit. However, what would you do if you're angered about something but you can't say this word out loud because of a certain situation (e.g: funeral)? You choose one of this:

Dime it! I'm a coin!
credits: en.wikipedia.org

Dame it!

Dam it

Dime it!

Different word, but still, it sounds similar. At least, you still give a damn on it! So, carry on.

7. Such an asshole/arsehole!

This shit hole is somehow very famous to means that you're a jerk. No matter how we say 'ass' or 'arse', it still an anus or 'the upside down pleasure'. It's a bit difficult to cover this word because it's a total wreck of cussing so I just twist it into a proper word such as:

Such a defecation opening!

Such an uninviting place!

Such a hidden aperture!

Such a secret perforation!

Such a vulgar orifice!

Everyone can understand this, it's a direct translate.

8. Whore!

"Not that kind of court job,
 if you know what I mean"
credits: 123rf.com

Whore is what people know as courtesan, prostitute, cocotte or a hooker. Whore is a common word to insult but it doesn't tickles woman's heart so bad when they say it. But it hurts a lot when whore turns into a different word but with the same meaning. No matter what, it still a sexual act for money. To save a good morale in those word, just tell them

courtesan is a noble job at the court

prostitute is someone professional at the institute

cocotte is a French bread like baguette

hooker is a tool to catch fish

whore is a woman who lived at the shore.

Actually, it was my first thought when I heard about those word. My young brain helps me to sugarcoat the profanity.

[Lesson learn: No matter what, profanity is profanity. So, mind you language]

@themagi2013