Since childhood, we've learned that there's a fact saying that "you can never know everything." Yes it is. No one knows everything, that is why the word "secret" had came out to control the truth. But it's okay to know everything because once you did it, you will realize that- you have to know more :)
Annoying Facts of French and English (From Mr. Stephen Clarke)
According to his best-seller book, 1000 Years of Annoying the French, few things had been discovered in history, and I like old facts. After spending more than 6 months reading and highlighting the facts that mesmerized me, which annoys me in the same time, I noticed that history is the fact that never perfect. Truth is meant for hiding because they believed 'people should not know too much' so that's how WE have to know. But now, let's check my reading-fact:
1. During the cold fight between French and English, they were both agreed with one fact- the future successor must possess a penis to rule the country. In English empire, King Henry I was too old and sick to sit on his throne, worrying about the fact all his boys were illegitimate children. For French empire, they believed that the realm of France was noble that it must not fall into a woman's hand. But actually, Queen Victoria and Elizabeth II had shown to them that female can rule longer.
2. Remember the Hollywood movie, 'The Da Vinci Code'? It did mentioned about rosa mundi, which relates them to the history of Mary Magdelene. Back to English empire, Henry II used to call his hidden lady as rosa mundi or the roses of the world, as his wife's child-bearing had stopped and the relationship had strained. What a man, he knows the great time to pick a fresh rose.
3. The history of struggling between French and English had shown that few new words had been discovered and enriched the English dictionary. According to old situation that happened in London, the word 'hooligan' comes from Houlihan, the name of disreputable family in 1890s. The medieval French word 'men-at-arms' or 'gent d'armes' was the origin to the word 'gendarme'. So, thanks to eerie and gory incidents in the past, we have a great vocabulary today.
4. Again, back to the old days between French and English, there were few items had been discovered for cooking experience. For example, few knights had using the frying pan as a shield in order to defend themselves during the war. Well, war makes people more creative.
5. Hateful to admit as a truth, the previous king of England had trouble to identify their sexual intercourse. According to the statement by the history of she-wolf Queen Isabelle from France, King Edward II was unpopular because of his lack of skill in battlefield and he was openly gay to his own favorite assistant. Maybe that affair makes Isabelle turned into a wolf. Meanwhile, the problem of lesbian affair between the Queen and the first Lady of Bedchamber brought her to death, her head was paraded outside from Queen's window. Today's lesson: nothing's come good from those affairs.
6. King Edward III had saying that English is the better language than French for cussing. For him, French is too Latin-based and grammatically prudish, he was not enjoyed to play words when he speaks French while English can turn pretty well from harsh or aggressive words into an insult. Actually, Mr.Edward III was very good in swearing.
7. The Englishman knows how to tackle the French through vocab and word. For example, the Black Death that happened in Avignon, France was brought by rats and flea. Funny how, 'flea' word is derived from Anglo-Saxon word (which means, an English word). Meanwhile, the French word 'Azincourt' (a village actually) turn into 'Agincourt' after the war between English and French. It doesn't matter anyway because the winner can say whatever they want. The champion rules, right?
8.V-sign is the symbol of peace, that's today perspective. The origin of V-sign was made in1970 through the French war but the symbol become famous in 1990s. But there was a theory by Desmond Morris that V-sign is the symbolic of vagina. Meanwhile, there was another fact that the English armies viewed W-sign to their enemy (France) during the war but their King had warned them that they might lose one finger by showing 3 fingers so they decided to show V-sign. So, if the King didn't warned his men, there must be W-sign instead of V-sign. By hiding one finger, W (means WAR) turn into V (means VICTORY)- brilliant idea~
9. The French male heirs was called as 'dolphins' which was not because they can swim or sound like a dolphin but the word 'dauphins' (which means 'the royal male heirs') sounds like a dolphin. It becomes the symbol of coat-of-arms and a Royal French pun. I wonder where all the 'dolphins' now.
10. Women were unlucky in medieval times. They were not allowed to cut their hair and joined the war. Their role in war was restricted to be murdered, or raped only. I guess I'm lucky to live this time, I cut my hair many times.
11. Joan of Arc,the heroin of France was called as a witch. She was sentenced to death just because of wearing a pant (or relapsed heretic, that was how the judges make decision). She had to wait four centuries to become a heroin again, and put her name on a French navy helicopter carrier- Jeanne d'Arc. She turned into a helicopter now.
12. English King had attacked French King by using his energetic young daughter, send to French King as a queen. Later on, the French King died, not just because of his age but he's exceeded his strength on bed. Poor him, got killed by his own sexual health.
13. Bloody Mary, was not so bloody before. She invented the term 'caddy'- her club for playing golf was carried by a young sons of French noblemen known as cadets but pronounced as 'cadday'. Now, she's part of English vocab even she was cut off by English people.
14. Nicotine, the chemical stuff in cigarette was derived from Frenchman, Jean Nicot de Villemain. Before, nicotine tried to be named as Herba Regina by Catherine de Medici, but she failed. Try to imagine that you read 'Herba Regina' on cigarette's box- it sounds like you eating a herbal supplement.
15. Dom Perignon, who known as the inventor of Champagne was hated the whiz and the sparkliness while Christopher Merret (an English man) really enjoyed the whiz and invented the bottle that capable to hold the bubbles. So, they both got credits to invent another way to get drunk.
16. Louisiana at USA was named to flatter Louis XIV. Its original name was Louisiane and the reason the place had been choose to be name with his name was the land was immense and it shows people the great power of French king's power. Even until now, he still spreading his power into my wardrobe- my denim pants and T-shirt.
17. Lafayette at USA was been named to another French guy- Mister Marie Joseph Yves Roch Gilbert Du Motier, marquis de la Fayette. He was anti British guy and America's favorite Frenchman. Even he was so loved to his country, he left his name to another country, which is very close to English now.
18. Bougainvillea, a paper-colourful flower was named to a French guy- again. His name was Louis Antoine de Bougainvillea. Thank God his name sounds pretty. Try to imagine his name was Louis Antoine de Blablabla- strange?
19. Guillotine, the killer of Bloody Mary (or Mary Queen of Scots) was actually not a truly French cutter. The Halifax Gibbet at Nothern England was been invented earlier than guillotine, more sturdier, more beastly and the head would fly away to halfway across Yorkshire. I believed during that time, people would enjoyed the flying-head festival with awed and eat apples.
20. Guillotine (once again) was been named to a French guy- Mister Joseph Ignace Guillotin. He was a politician as well as a doctor. His theory of punishment item was inventing the decapitated machine to execute the victim quickly and returned the victim's item (the head + the body) for a decent burial. After few discussion and meeting, his proposal had accepted but he was too late to change the fact that his name becomes the sensation of 'cutting heads'. If only he didn't proposed the machine, the name 'halifax' might be a verb right now.
21. We used to check months through Gregorian calendar. According to French calendar, the name of the months were very different, using French plants, animals and tools- 30 September was called Parsnip, 8 October was called Pumpkin, 17 October was called Aubergine, 20 December was called Spade, 8 April was called Beehive, 1 May was called Broccoli and 4 May was called Silkworm. Confusing, as I concern.
22. Napoleon had been described as 'midget'. No, he's not. He's a medium guy, five feet six inches, nice height for a guy but the doubts thrown by the doctor makes the conversion metric-to-inch got wrong. So, he is forever known as 'midget'.
23. Napoleon believes that men with prostitute is necessary or men would attack respectable women in the street. So he legalized the prostitution as the prostitute must undergo the health inspections. Did Napoleon legalized the regulation that all men who pick the prostitute must undergo the health inspections too?
24. The favorite food 'beef' was derived from the name 'boeuf'- French word. That's why it taste 'frenchy'.
25. The croissant, the crescent moon shape French- pastry was the reminiscent of the crescent symbol on the Ottoman flag. Not an annoying fact, I think. Croissant is delicious.
I guess, my reading through this book gives me a huge lesson- two always fight for one. And one never fights to anyone, because one is lonely. Do you want to become like ONE?
Rating: 5/5
Ref:
Clarke, S. (2010). 1000 Years of Annoying the French. London: Black Swan.
#tmg2013
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